Looking back now, my way to “A Course in Miracles” probably all started in 1969 when I accepted Jesus my own Lord and Savior, under the influence of the Campus Crusade for Christ. However, after joining a Christian brotherhood of aspiring monks, where I was daily quizzed on how many Bible verses I had memorized and may recite verbatim, I was totally confused because of it all. Their version of reality just didn’t sit well with me. I felt just like a parrot of Bible verses, that I didn’t even begin to understand, or the city crier that nobody wished to hear. Jesus would show me more, much more.
As divine synchronicity would have it, I ingested a hallucinogen that led to a near death experience the day after Christmas, 1970. When I was in the black void, with only the consciousness that “I Am”, George Harrison’s song My Sweet Lord began playing. That was my voice singing to God, not George’s! Soon a brilliant white light began appearing out of the darkness, as my soul sang “I must say i desire to see you Lord”. Then somebody started to emerge out of the light. This Holy One oscillated between masculine and feminine.
As I’d been praying to Jesus, I thought it might be him, but without a beard. I began crying from the depths of my soul, because the Holy One communicated telepathically into my heart. I knew this Being to be nothing but pure love. Then it was over. I was shot back to my body, hearing the words to a fresh song telling me “it has been quite a long time coming, it will likely be quite a long time gone.” How true that is.
Per year later, I saw the cover of Autobiography of a Yogi. It had been Paramahansa Yogananda who had arrived at me! Next came meeting Baba Ram Dass, who confirmed that I wasn’t crazy and stated that Yogananda had appeared to many young spiritual seekers on drugs. He also autographed my copy of Be Here Now. My next decade was spent as an aspiring yogi and practicing Yogananda’s Self-Realization Fellowship lessons and exercises, chanting, meditating and receiving initiation into Kriya yoga. Yogananda’s path and linage of gurus brought the essential clarity for me to comprehend Jesus and Christianity better. Yogananda also showed me the fundamental truth behind the oneness of most religions.
And he brought me to Babaji, the Mahavatar who sent him to America back in the 1920s. Ever since I heard the name Babaji, I knew I knew Him. He and Jesus work together, behind the scenes, in the cosmic scheme of things. And Babaji was to be the next step in my ongoing spiritual evolution. However, I did not know at this point he had supposedly manifested a body again and was residing in the tiny village of Haidakhan, in northern India. That could come later, along with the mystery and myth of this current manifestation.
After hearing Bhagavan Das sing, I bought a dotara and began chanting mantras to God daily. This simple, ancient two- stringed instrument is easy to play and lets one follow the drone sound into silence. At this point, I purchased my very own invest the woods and met a guy who’d lived with Babaji. un curso de milagros He conducted a Vedic fire ceremony that Babaji had taught him to initiate my new abode. I questioned and grilled him repeatedly, asking if this new Babaji was the same entity Yogananda had written about. Yes, one and exactly the same but peoples egos still question His true identity. Babaji’s new Kriya yoga was the road of truth, simplicity and love while performing karma yoga- work – and keeping one’s mind on God, through repetition of the ancient mantra Om Namaha Shivaya.
Babaji stated that this mantra alone was stronger than a thousand atomic bombs and His 1-800 number. I began at this time seriously doing japa, or the repetition of the mantra on 108 rudraksha beads, to obtain this vibration into my sub consciousness. I also learned many methods to chant it on my dotara. With all this going on, I purchased “A Course in Miracles” and began the daily lessons immediately. I tried to make sense of the Text but got nowhere; each sentence bogged me down and needed to be re-read over way too many times to assimilate. I was just too young, I told myself. I was thirty-three. I’d deal with this Text later, someday, maybe.
Then after a year of being married, our house burns down- a real karmic fire ceremony. In the ashes, untouched by the fire, was an image of Babaji and His cymbals from Haidakhan. Discuss miracles! Next, was the unexpected news that people have a baby coming, after losing everything? My marriage started to dissolve quickly after I fell twenty feet off a roof, breaking my body in twelve places. Surviving death, I was put back to college for two years to be retrained, while my ex-wife and son left for the Southwest. This is when most of my abandonment issues led to extreme drinking alone. After graduation, I left for India to see Babaji’s ashram, as He had already left His physical body again, also to pray for help with my entire life in the most spiritual country on earth.
I attended the 1995 Kumbha Mela festival with ten million others and lo and behold, who should appear? It was Babaji, asking me if I was having a great time. Yes, but I couldn’t talk with answer Him! HE THEN disappeared back to the crowd, leaving me blown away. Returning state side, I ended up following my ex- wife and son to the Southwest, where my next step was peyote meetings with the Native Americans for quite some time ahead. Everything I’d read and studied in the Course was evident on the medicine inside that tipi. God Is.
I learned more in a single night than I had in years of studying metaphysical books. But I didn’t practice all I’d learned and I let my depressed ego, alcohol and abandonment issues take me closer to death’s very door. However, as fate, karma and prayers would have it, I ended up in prison for just two 2.5 years on an aggravated DUI, rather than dead, where I discovered the Courses’ Manual for Teachers inside our library. Soon, I had the complete book sent in free to prisoners and was reintroduced to Jesus again, with the time I needed to study every word of this lengthy text.
After twenty years, I have to be old enough to obtain it now! In time and with assistance from the Course, I was finally able to forgive myself for the bizarre life my ego had constructed. I did the daily lessons again, trying to see the face of Christ within each inmate. That has been not an easy one. But I left prison a changed, free sober man, far better for the experience sufficient reason for an initial draft book about it all under my belt. Today, I have eight years of sobriety under my belt and my book Still Singing, Somehow won the fall Pinnacle Book Achievement Award. That is a very condensed version of my story- an odyssey of 1 soul’s karma.